Conversations from the Schoolyard

Jeremiah: "Madame, look at my injury. It's paining me."
Me: "Jeremiah, where is this scratch from?"
Jeremiah: "Jonathan's nails are so long that when we were playing they scratched me."
Me: "Jeremiah, I'm very sorry, but I don't think you need a bandage, and I'll talk to him"
(We move over to talk to Jonathan. You should know that Jonathan is about a foot and a half taller than Jeremiah, which isn't hard to do as Jeremiah is about 4'7" standing up straight.)
Me: "Jonathan, Jeremiah says you accidentally scratched him because your nails are so long. Let me see your hands."
Jonathan: "Madame, I need them for a toothpick."
Me: "Jonathan, I think it's time for you to cut those."
Jonathan: "Fine, but they will just grow back."
Me: "I know, but right now they should be shorter so they don't injure people."
(Jeremiah throws a satisfied smile towards Jonathan and makes some snide remark to Jonathan who proceeds to say...)
Jonathan: "You be quiet! I'm going to pick you up and put you in my pocket and keep you there all day so you can't bother me!"

(Jeremiah scampers off while Jonathan fumes and Alicia and I hide in the staffroom so we can laugh our heads off.)