Little Blue Pill

Was it The Matrix or Through the Looking Glass/Alice in Wonderland where there was a choice offered between a blue and a red pill? I seem to always get my classics mixed up...

Regardless, if you are ever offered the choice between a blue and red pill, I unequivocally assure you to chose the red pill.

Nothing could be more caustic, more offensive to the human body, more complicated to administer than the blue pill. There is not a day that goes by that I don't dread swallowing that thing with at least 8 oz. of water, nor one where I don't worry that my stomach is not full enough to cope with the chemicals contained in the capsule. Not only this, but I have to plan my Women's-Once-In-A-While regime around this darn thing!


Doxycycline. I hate it. Twice now has it ruined a perfectly good morning. When I first arrived in Kenya and was staying in Nairobi, I was super serious about taking the blue pill once a day. When I forgot to dose myself during a meal one day, I figured I could nibble on some caramel popcorn and call it good. Alas, it all came back to bite me in the bum, and now I'll never be able to eat caramel popcorn again, which is a tragedy. And then just this morning, to add injury to insult (the loss of an appetite for caramel popcorn is, in fact, a serious insult), I woke up with searing heartburn or acid reflux from taking my doxy too late the previous evening. I'm not personally a doctor, but WebMD tells me I have esophagitis caused by the blue pill getting stuck in my esophagus and causing serious irritation of the esophageal lining. For heaven's sake! It's Saturday! The only morning I have to myself, and I begin it at 4:30 AM sucking down tea with Tylenol ground up into a fine powder floating around.

I'm beginning to wonder if malaria once a year would be better than this doxy situation...